2020/9/1 Cosmic @ Donovan’s Reef, Seabright, NJ
Everything happens for a reason. Every. Single. Thing. It took a long time to learn that and even longer to internalize and live it, but as I continue to trudge the road of Happy Destiny, I can firmly aver that I believe neither in happy accidents nor coincidences. Cosmic was scheduled to play at my house on Saturday August 29. Due to weather, we postponed until Sunday August 30, the day that would have been my recently deceased father’s 80th birthday. That small change brought my family together to reflect on his loss the only way we know how … by celebrating his life.
Tuesday September 1, 2020 was the one year anniversary of the passing of Matt Scholz, a friend very dear to the band and its all inclusive and loving community of Cosmicnauts. The fact that Cosmic was scheduled to play on the beach wasn’t a happy accident any more than the full orange moon that rose over the ocean at setbreak as Matt’s brother joined the band on stage. I never had the pleasure to know Matt, but I know he meant the world not just to the guys in the band but to their extended family as well. Said guitarist Mike Jaskewicz, “We are celebrating the life of a friend lost way too soon. He changed me immeasurably and his life and loss sent me careening into another dimension of life and demanded I begin seeing myself in a positive light. He was special.” And while this has been a fucked up year, pain and mental anguish aren’t exclusive to 2020. I’ve been there. All but a few of us have and the rest are probably lying. Mental health is fragile, especially when the hidden pain of depression and/or addiction are bubbling invisibly beneath the surface. Again, speaking from experience here.
I just learned of the beautiful life that was Matt’s, but this topic has been on the mind as of late as the one year anniversary of Neal Casal’s suicide also just passed. {To bathe this profundity in perspective, read this interview of Adam MacDougall written by my friend Andew O’Brien at Live For Live Music.} The point is, even when it’s cloaked in secrecy, most people hide their pain and only let others see what they want to show them. Why the fuck am I talking about any of this, this is a concert review, right??? Bear with me as I create a frame of reference for the glory that was Tuesday’s Cosmic show. I’ve been thinking about all this and contemplating pain because that’s the counterpoint to pleasure. It’s hard to truly experience joy when you know no sorrow. Highs and lows. Yin and yang.
Music heals. It helps me to be my best self and connect with my deepest and most important values. Music fills my soul with love and light and I try to serve as its conduit by reflecting that beauty back into the world. I know many musicians, and I’m thinking of one in particular, that feel the same way. Personally, I don’t have a musical bone in my body (though I did once play a broken tambourine in a second line march with Jon Batiste), but that’s what music does for me as a fan. I’m addicted to the reciprocal flow of energy that exists not just between me and the band but amongst me and the people around me. That’s why I chase it. It puts beautiful people in my orbit and creates immediate bonds on the basis of shared experiences. And when you’re willing to faithfully give yourself to the moment, to really fucking go for it, why can’t each moment be everything. That is the magic of live music.
One of the very first things I noticed about Cosmic is the loving community at their epicenter. Sure, I see the same hippies everywhere, but this fam is different. They’re loving and inclusive and welcomed me with open arms and they’re not exclusive of the band, rather completely intertwined in the most glorious way. It reminds me of JRAD and the love that they grew out of and it’s fucking awesome. This band is going places and this family of gorgeous Cosmicnauts will always be there, growing exponentially as others come under their spell, hopefully filling larger and larger rooms as time goes on and the world gets back to normal.
For now, though, the world is still broken so we settled for dancing with our feet in the sand as the band looked out over a literal fifty million dollar view of the Atlantic Ocean. Pure. Fucking. Bliss. The band went off script right from the start, ad-libbing a cover of Bob Marley’s “Lively Up Yourself” to kick off this celebration of Matt Scholz’ life. I don’t know why I was so shocked by Ween’s “Bananas & Blow” sneaking its way into the setlist, especially since John Nemeth showed up to my house in a Ween shirt two days prior, and it’s just such a fun and loose tune. Plus, John is more of a harmonizer but his lead vocals kick ass and it just tickles my fancy when he grabs the mic. {It sort of reminded me of those rare occasions that Joe Russo grabs the mic for Box of Rain. Note: I was going to say Phil Lesh as John’s bass compatriot and true vocalist on the tune but let’s be honest, his vocals suck while Russo can really sing.}
“Bloom” kicked off a four song run of originals that really showcase Cosmic as a band and Mike Jaskewicz as a singer and songwriter.
The back end of that four-song run was a tune called “My Destruction”. Listen to Jaskewicz tell it as he honors his friend Matt, “I am still trying to reckon the words that make sense and tell the story properly in hopes people that knew him can heal. His loss inspired me to step up and follow my path, and I wrote my first full song shortly after called ‘My Destruction’. I nearly threw the song on the scrap heap until a bunch of people started requesting it, a song I felt was kind of silly but seemingly touched a lot of people that knew him.”
My Destruction
If I had a hand grenade I’d throw it in my head
And blow up all the thoughts and noise while laying in my bed
I wasn’t made to wear a suit and tie
I wasn’t made to run that race
I was only made to sing my song and put a smile on your face
So here I stand, on the eve of my destruction
If I had an atom bomb I’d lay waste to my heart
Obliterate my hopes and dreams and incinerate my art
I wasn’t meant to step in line
I wasn’t meant to run 9-5
I was meant to lend a hand but that’ll keep your pockets light
So here I stand, on the eve of my destruction
If I had a carpet bomb I’d shred apart my soul
And blow up every moment where I felt that I was whole
I wasn’t meant for fashion
I wasn’t meant to be too cool
I was meant to keep you warm like a blanket on your soul
So here I stand, on the eve of my destruction
Well my head’s gone numb and my hearts grown cold
And my trapped soul is screaming out
For that one thing, anything, to remind me of better days
Please, please show me the way
If I had a flower I’d plant it on my grave
And hope someone might water it remembering better days
For all the things I wasn’t meant to be I never could see clear
There must’ve been something to keep things from ending up right here
So here I stand, on the eve of my destruction
It is also my understanding that “Sugaree” was a special song for Matt. I captured a few moments of the stunning rendition that closed the set, and the imagery of the group of friends gathered in the foreground as Cosmic laid down fiery licks still raises the hair on my arms — even now as I write two days later (and then again as I came back to edit the sentence). I spoke the other day of what defines Cosmic as a band, and even as a writer I still lack the words to do so. Let “My Destruction” and “Sugaree” speak the words that I can’t find.
The second set opener, completely off script, was as next level as the timing of the full orange moon that broke through the clouds and rose over the ocean as the band laid down the first familiar notes of “Shakedown Street”. I’ll let the setlist speak to the badassery that ensued … Shakedown Street^ > Another Brick In The Wall (Part 1)^ > Shakedown Street^ > Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)^ > Shakedown Street^ > Another Brick In The Wall (Part 3)^ > Shakedown Street^. Wait, what?!?! I only caught a few minutes of the Shakedown on video so I won’t tease you with a video that misses the rest. I really screwed that one up, eh? To boot, Matt Scholz’ brother Bob of Psychotic Submarines sat in with Cosmic for Roger Waters’ vocals on “Another Brick In The Wall”. Could there possibly be any more layers to this narrative???
My two favorite originals, “We Are Divine” and “Crooked Tree”, sandwiched “Cats Under The Stars” for another flawless trio of goodies. I got really excited when I thought I heard some “Tweezer” in the “Cats” but that was just my mind playing tricks on me as anything seemed possible at that point. Billy Siegel absolutely slayed The Meters’ “Hey Pocky Way” that followed and it was at this point that I took a walk and danced it up from the walkway above and behind the band. I settled in for a headbanging Dan’s-eye-view that not only gave me such a cool and intimate look at what a bad motherfucker Donovan is on the drums but allowed me to hear what he hears when he’s playing. Keeping the groove at a fever pitch, the band segued into Phish’s “AC/DC Bag”. Check it out.
“Playing In The Band” next kicked off an eight song run that included the night’s second Ween cover in “Roses Are Free”, “Strange Design”, three more originals, and “The Music Never Stopped” (appropriately), and finally concluded with a super tasty “Playin’ Reprise.” This band may have more energy than I do and that’s really saying something. A “MIghty Quinn” encore put a bow on this amazing Tuesday night on the beach in New Jersey.
For all the love this band gives, I feel comfortable in saying that their extended family of Cosmicnauts gives it right back.
For Matt Scholz. Rest in Power.
20,081 steps on a school night. Dare I say life is starting to return to normal??? And by the way, while seeing live music on the beach is about as good as it gets, accumulating this number of steps in the sand is some serious hard work — just sayin’.
Cosmic at Donovan’s Reef Setlist 9.1.20
Set 1: Lively Up Yourself > Greatest Story Ever Told, New Minglewood Blues, Restless Heart*, Bananas & Blow, Bloom*, Birds Of A Feather* > More Time*, My Destruction*, Sugaree.
Set 2: Shakedown Street^ > Another Brick In The Wall (Part 1)^ > Shakedown Street^ > Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)^ > Shakedown Street^ > Another Brick In The Wall (Part 3)^ > Shakedown Street^, We Are Divine*, Cats Under The Stars > Crooked Tree*, Hey Pocky Way > AC/DC Bag, Playing In The Band > Set Me Free*, Treat You Right*, Roses Are Free, Strange Design, Mary* > The Music Never Stopped > Playin’ Reprise.
Encore: Mighty Quinn.
*originals, ^with Bob Scholz from Psychotic Submarines.
Beautiful! Thank you.